Taking a Valentine’s Day stand for kids
By Corrie Lynne Player
2-13-08

On the day before our country’s most important non-holiday, Valentine’s Day, I’m climbing up on my soapbox and taking a stand for children.
My words might prompt some of you to yell at your newspaper. But, as you know, I often express opinions that many others disagree with. Frankly, I think it’s about time adults started acting like adults and put the needs of children ahead of their own interests.
Research and thousands of years of human history clearly demonstrate that an intact, two parent home is the best place to raise a child. Such a home teaches children about gender roles, fosters trust and attachment, and allows them to grow into happy, productive adults who can form intact, loving families of their own.
When I watch the news, read a magazine, or in any other way perceive the political correctness about relationships and families today, I’m appalled. Two parent families are in the minority: Single parent homes comprise more than 50 percent of all households; casual sex is widely accepted—even for teenagers, and too many people think nothing of shacking up, playing house until they get bored (likely) or (less likely) decide to get married and have one or two children.
To do more than grit my teeth over the condition of society, I want to state without equivocation (visualize bright red print for this next statement): Most divorces are based on selfishness (yes, I know that some divorces are necessary because of abuse).
Homes could be saved if both parties decided to make marriage a priority, instead of glorified going steady. Sadly, one person can’t hold a marriage together, no matter how he or she tries or wishes things were different, or no matter how many children cry themselves to sleep at night because they want both parents living under the same roof—amicably.
I wish young couples would take time to understand and learn about one another before they hop into bed together. Premature, premarital sex is a major reason for many of the problems faced by our increasingly toxic society, including divorce.
And how can healthy young people manage to stay virgins until they marry? You, along with hundreds of parents I’ve chatted with or interviewed, may think things are hopeless.
When your 14-year-old daughter asks to be put on birth control or your 15-year-old son asks for condoms to carry in his wallet, I hope with all my heart that you tell them “No, plain and simply NO.” However, I also hope with all my heart that you’ve been talking about morality with your child since she or he was out of diapers. I hope that you’ve insisted that your girls don’t show off their belly buttons or cleavage and that your sons avoid wearing droopy jeans that show their underwear.
I hope that you communicate with your adolescent child and keep track of him. If he tells you basketball practice is from 3-7 p.m. every day after school, I hope you call the coach to confirm those hours. And if the coach does insist on daily four-hour practices, I hope you call the principal and complain.
If you hold down a job and are a single mom or dad, I hope you reach out to family and friends to help you monitor your son or daughter. If you are a two parent family, I hope both of you work at raising your children and support one another, keeping disagreements behind closed doors.
There’s no excuse for putting your teen on birth control and saying, “They’re going to do it, anyway” to justify your actions. Too much research to ignore points to the emotional damage done to teens who become sexually active. Children who engage in sex before their 18th birthdays are four times as likely to be divorced, six times as likely to get pregnant outside of marriage, and three times as likely to suffer mental illness. These are not soothing statistics, folks!
I hope your throat isn’t sore from yelling at your newspaper! See you next time.